There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
