areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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