I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
