Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
