she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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