return my video game
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
