Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
