why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
