My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
