so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
