Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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