Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
