And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
