Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
