In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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