She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
