im having a threesome with these popsicles
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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