so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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