i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
