he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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