...so i touched it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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