Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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