i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i think i just lost a toe
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
