R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
