If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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