you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
