Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize