Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We are two peas in an std pod
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
