I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
babies were throwing up all over the place
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
