I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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