why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
