you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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