I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
