I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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