69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
