"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
