If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
