it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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