I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
