Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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