I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
