the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
