Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
