Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Randomize
