i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
