i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
