Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
