I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
