I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
