To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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